Campaign 2012 is officially
under way, and you now have the rare opportunity to hire the only speaker who’s
been an economic advisor to President Bush Sr., a health care advisor to
President Clinton, a defense counselor to President George W. Bush, and a top
aide to President Obama.
Each one of these leaders has
trusted this one man to be their counsel during good times and bad, and judging
by the current state of the country, it should be obvious, that his work is not
yet complete. Because when things do go bad, this is the guy that takes the
hit, and then figures out how to best spread the blame.
This is a leader who has helped
shape history, like when he recently told the secret service to “go out and
have a good time in Columbia,” or when he ordered the GSA to hold its meeting
in Los Vegas while counseling its top brass, “hey, you work hard - you should
play hard.”
Fortunately, for your clients,
this incredible individual is now available to discuss his experiences,
He’ll reveal what it’s like behind
the scenes when the tough decisions are being made. Find out which president
remained the coolest under fire, which got flustered, and which one cries more
then John Boehner.
And now, after a wild Republican
primary season, find out his predictions for the cataclysmic election of 2012,
like where the parties really stand on the issues, or which candidate has the
best chance in November, or the actual names and addresses of the 17 undecided voters
in Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania who will ultimately decide the future of our
nation, and why billions of advertising dollars will be spent to sway the only
people in the entire country who apparently can’t make up their minds about
anything.
Get the inside scoop on just how
often Joe Biden falls asleep at his campaign rallies…at the podium.
And learn the truth about Mitt’s
problems connecting with regular people, and his secret strategy to go shopping
at Walmart right before the election. (and to really, really enjoy it!)
Who is this amazing expert?
His name is Harry Freedman and
he is The Nation’s Leading Expert at
Corporate Comedy Put-ons! He WILL convince your next audience that he is an
actual expert for any industry and on any topic.
So why bring in one of the talking
heads or political hacks that are on TV, when you can hire the only expert in
the country who has the ability to BS better then all of them put together –
Harry Freedman!
Accept no substitutes.
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Here are just a few of his most
recent policy statements.
POLITICS
On the right you have the tea party, while on
the left you used to have the green party - so as a result, I just joined the
green tea party. We’re a small group of angry antioxidants and free radicals.
ECONOMICS
I know there's a lot of concern about the 15
trillion dollar budget deficits in Washington and I know a lot of people say
that it’s not fair to our kids...and I agree with that, but I have an 19 year
old kid, and he's a pain in the neck, so as far as I'm concerned, let him pay
later for his bad attitude now, and I can't wait to see his face when he
figures out he’ll be working till he’s 90.
Some people
blame the current economic situation on greedy bankers. But in my opinion, it
wasn't caused by greedy bankers…but rather by careless bank tellers. You see,
people often come into a bank with rolls of pennies they want cashed...and
sometimes they only put 98 cents instead of a dollar. Well, You add up a few pennies here, a few pennies there,
next thing you know, you're down 15 trillion. It could happen to anyone.
HEALTH CARE
I’m proud to have helped President Obama
finally pass a national health care plan that I think will not only save the
country a lot of money, but will in fact, revolutionize everyone's health
insurance.
Look at it
this way. Right now, when you pay for your typical health insurance - you're
covered for every illness. But the reality is that you're not going to get
every illness. So our new policy
is that you only pay for the disease you want to be covered for. For example,
let’s say you want protection for tuberculosis - that's like $50 bucks a
year. For another $5 bucks a year,
you don't have to worry about salmonella. Now, I know some people might argue
that nobody gets salmonella, and that’s true, but for 5 bucks a year, are you
really willing to take that gamble?
NATIONAL
SECURITY
Even though we got Osama, I’m still nervous
about terrorism, so much so, I bought a gas mask, but I filled mine with
nitrous oxide. I figure if there ever is an attack, I’m getting free dental
work.
Because terrorism in other countries is much worse then here. In Israel, things are so bad they use pigs to sniff out explosives. How unfair is that? These pigs are basically sitting there thinking, I’m in the one country in the world I thought I was perfectly safe, and boom - they’re blowing us up! I wish I could turn into a cow and move to India.
ENERGY
There are a lot of misconceptions
about the safety of nuclear power, which is why I think I can reassure
everybody with just 2 words - Homer Simpson. Because he's been working in a
nuclear plant for 25 years, and there’s been no problems whatsoever.
The big concern with nuclear is
disposing of all the waste, which was supposed to be shipped to Yucca mountain,
but got stopped by local opposition. Which is surprising, because frankly, this
is the first time I've ever heard Nevada try to turn something down for health
reasons.
Let's be
honest. There's a state known for booze, women, crime, smoking, and gambling,
and the local government's got the nerve to say, "your nuclear waste isn't
good enough for us?'
That’s why,
I think we need a slogan to get the people of Nevada to get behind it.
Something like, "what happens in Yucca - stays in Yucca."
Harry Freedman has performed customized corporate comedy Put-ons and
emceed for hundreds of Fortune 1000 companies.
He also does stand-up comedy, personalized toasts and roasts, and
creates hilarious biographical tribute videos for landmark birthdays,
honorariums, weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs.
For more Information: www.Hfreedman.com
or HarryFreedman.net (agent
friendly)
